Friday, December 31, 2010

The Year That Was


It's 4 in the morning on the last day of 2010. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this year. It's been INCREDIBLE. So much has happened and I've changed so much I barely know where to begin to describe all that has happened over the course of just a year. Charles Dickens said it best when he wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us..." This helps to somewhat sum up all that I've experienced this past year. I spent half of this year in "the winter of despair" before reaching the "spring of hope". I grew so much this year out of everything that has happened. I am not the same, nor will I ever be. That's one word that can sort of describe this year: change. My views, my personality, my friends, my interests, my perspectives, my ideals, my goals, my dreams, I changed. Paradigms shifted, my eyes opened, the clouds lifted, etc. The big factor in all of this was and is God. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I have experienced God in a more real way than ever before. It's too hard to even begin to describe here, but I am a new person. I guess if I had to pick one quote to sum up what this year has meant to me, I would pick my all-time favorite verse, Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." This year has been truly beautiful, and I will watch it close with the hope and confidence that 2011 will hold even more wonderful surprises.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Heavens Declare The Glory Of God


"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens He has pitched a tent for the sun." -Psalm 19:1-4

Sunday, December 19, 2010

"I Could Never Love Anyone More Than I Love My Sisters."



I just finished watching Little Women. For those who don't know the plot, it's about four sisters and their lives together. I am one of four girls, and this story resounds so deeply for me. True, Amanda acts more like the firstborn, Meg, than I do. And while we have never been able to assign a character to the third sister, Beth, we all cry our eyes out when (SPOILER WARNING!) she dies. This movie touches each of us profoundly in many different ways. As I watched it for the billionth time, I began to pick up on many profound little quotes in this movie that I absolutely love. So I decided to post them here. Read and enjoy! I wish everyone could enjoy the unique, challenging blessing that is the sister relationship. To be able to experience life with these little women is truly a blessing.

  • "I could never love anyone more than I love my sisters!"
  • "You have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead a normal life? You're ready to go out and find a new use for your talent. Go and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things become of it."
  • "You don't need scores of suitors. You only need one, if he's the right one."
  • "You must write from life, from the depths of your soul."
  • "Over the mysteries of female life there is drawn a veil best left undisturbed."
  • "If God wants me with Him, there is none who will stop Him. I don't mind. I was never like the rest of you, making plans about the great things I'd do. I never saw myself as much, not a great writer like you... Why does everyone want to go away? I don't mind being home. But I don't like being left behind. Now I am the one going ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you. But I know I shall be homesick for you, even in Heaven."
  • "I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male. And women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country."
  • "Late at night my mind would come alive with voices and stories and friends as dear to me as any in the real world. I gave myself up to it, longing for transformation."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

That's What Christmas Is All About, Charlie Brown.


"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks by night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'" -Luke 2:8-14

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Me in Test Form

I'm supposed to be writing a 10-page paper on my "theory of personality". This seemed like a good enough time to re-take the Myers Briggs Personality Test. I found a link online, and re-took it, and the results are scary, they are so accurate. Read and judge for yourselves.

Your Type is
ENFP
ExtravertedIntuitiveFeelingPerceiving
Strength of the preferences %
56256267

You are:
  • moderately expressed extravert
  • moderately expressed intuitive personality
  • distinctively expressed feeling personality
  • distinctively expressed perceiving personality
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say three or four percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

"You do your thing and I do my thing. You are you and I am I. And, if, in the end, we end up together, it's beautiful." -Boy Meets World


Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Sea Lion's Tale


"Once upon a time there lived a sea lion who had lost the sea. He lived in a country known as the barren lands. High on a plateau, far from any coast, it was a place so dry and dusty it could only be called a desert. A kind of coarse grass grew in patches here and there, and a few trees were scattered across the horizon. But mostly, it was dust. And sometimes wind, which together make one very thirsty. Of course, it must seem strange to you that such a beautiful creature should wind up in a desert at all. He was, mind you, a sea lion. But things like this do happen.

"How the sea lion came to the barren lands, no one could remember. It all seemed so very long ago. So long, in fact, it appeared as though he had always been there. Not that he belonged in such an arid place. How could that be? He was after all, a sea lion. But as you know, once you have lived so long in a certain spot, no matter how odd, you come to think of it as home.

"There was a time, many years back, when the sea lion knew he was lost. In those days, he would stop every traveler he met to see if he might help him find his way back to the sea.

"But no one seemed to know the story.

"On he searched, but never finding. After years without success, the sea lion took refuge beneath a solitary tree beside a very small water hole. The tree provided refuge from the burning rays of the sun, which was very fierce in that place. And the water hole, though small and muddy, was wet, in its own way. Here he settled down and got on as best he could.

"Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands, you might have seen the sea lion for yourself. Quite often in the evening, he would go and sit upon his favorite rock, a very large boulder, which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country.

"There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky. And on the best nights, when the wind shifted to the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze. Then he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast, deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling, he would swim and swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of breakers.

"The sea was calling to him.

"The sea lion loved his rock, and he even loved waiting night after night for the sea breezes that might come. Especially he loved the dreams those memories would stir. But as you well know, even the best of dreams cannot go on, and in the morning when the sea lion woke, he was still in the barren lands. Sometimes he would close his eyes and try to fall back asleep. It never seemed to work, for the sun was always very bright.

"Eventually, it became too much for him to bear. He began to visit his rock only on occasion. 'I have too much to do,' he told himself. 'I cannot waste my time just idling about.' He really did not have so much to do. The truth of it was, waking so far from home was such a disappointment, he did not want to have those wonderful dreams anymore. The day finally came when he stopped going to his rock altogether, and he no longer lifted his nose to the wind when the sea breezes blew.

"The sea lion was not entirely alone in those parts. For it was there he met the tortoise. Now this tortoise was an ancient creature, so weathered by his life in the barren lands that at first, the sea lion mistook him for a rock. He told the tortoise of his plight, hoping that this wise one might be able to help him. 'Perhaps,' the tortoise mused, 'this is the sea.' His eyes appeared to be shut against the bright sun, but he was watching the sea lion very closely. The sea lion swept his flippers once against his side, gliding to the end of the water hole and back. 'I don't know,' he said. 'It isn't very deep.' 'Isn't it?' 'Somehow, I thought the sea would broader, deeper. At least I hoped so.'

'You must learn to be happy here,' the tortoise told him one day. 'For it is unlikely you shall ever find this sea of yours.' Deep in his old and shriveled heart, the tortoise envied the sea lion and his sea. 'But I belong to the sea. We are made for each other.' 'Perhaps. But you have been gone so long now, the sea has probably forgotten about you.' This thought had never occurred to the sea lion. But it was true, he had been gone for a long, long time. 'If this is not my home, how can I ever feel at home here?' the sea lion asked. 'You will, in time.' The tortoise appeared to be squinting, his eyes a thin slit. 'I have seen the sea, and it is no better than what you have found here.' 'You have seen the sea!' 'Yes. Come closer,' whispered the tortoise, 'and I will tell you a secret. I am not a tortoise. I am a sea turtle. But I left the sea of my own accord, many years ago, in search of better things. If you stay with me, I will tell you the stories of my adventures.'

"The stories of the ancient tortoise were enchanting and soon cast their spell on the sea lion. As weeks passed into months, his memory of the sea faded. 'The desert,' whispered the tortoise, 'is all that is, or was, or ever will be.' When the sun grew fierce and burned his skin, the sea lion would hide in the shade of the tree, listening to the tales woven by the tortoise. When the dry winds cracked his flippers and filled his eyes with dust, the sea lion would retreat to the water hole. And so the sea lion remained, living his days between the water hole and the tree. The sea no longer filled his dreams.

"It was in May that the winds began to blow. The sea lion had grown used to wind, and at first he did not pay much heed at all. Years of desert life had taught him to turn his back in the direction from which the wind came and cover his eyes with his flippers, so that the dust would not get in. Eventually, the winds would always pass.

"But not this time. Day and night it came, howling across the barren lands. There was nothing to stop its fury, nothing to even slow it down. For forty days and forty nights the wind blew. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. The sea lion lifted himself to have a look around. He could hardly believe his eyes.

"Every single leaf had been stripped from his tree. The branches that remained, with only a twig or two upon them, looked like an old scarecrow. And I do not need to tell you that there was no longer any shade in which to hide. But worse than this, much worse indeed, was what the sea lion saw next. The water hole was completely dry.

"Three weeks after the wind ceased to blow, the sea lion had a dream. Now, as I told you before, there were other nights in which he had dreamed of the sea. But those were long ago and nearly forgotten. Even still, the ocean that filled his dreams this night was so beautiful and clear, so vast and deep, it was as if he were seeing it for the very first time. The sunlight glittered on its surface, and as he dived, the waters all around him shone like an emerald. If he swam quite deep, it turned to jade, cool and dark and mysterious. But he was never frightened, not at all. For I must tell you that in all his dreams of the sea, he had never before found himself in the company of other sea lions. This night there were many, round about him, diving and turning, spinning and twirling. They were playing.

"Oh, how he hated to wake from that wonderful dream. The tears running down his face were the first wet thing he had felt in three weeks. But he did not pause even to wipe them away, he did not pause, in fact, for anything at all. He set his face to the east, and he began to walk as best a sea lion can.

"'Where are you going?' asked the tortoise.

"'I am going to find the sea.'"

This allegory is excerpted from the book Desire by John Eldredge. I love it because it speaks so beautifully of our human hearts. I also love it because my school mascot is a sea lion and because I live by the sea. May you have open hearts to read this story as it's meant to be read.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Nowhere is Safe


Yesterday was consumed with Harry Potter. Literally, I spent OVER twelve hours either reading, or watching something Harry Potter-related. The first part of the seventh movie was released today, and of course I had to go to the midnight showing. Now, I'm always that obnoxious friend that asks my friends to save me a seat so I can show up at 11 pm. My friends are the INSANE people waiting outside the theater at 6 am. This time, though, I got to be that insane person waiting outside the theater all day. None of my friends could get out of class earlier than about 5, and I was done at noon. So I found myself sitting outside, armed with the seventh book, prepared to sit and sit. This really wasn't as bad as it sounds, though. I had a full day to read the seventh book, which I had not had any time to read previously. In addition, I was waiting outside in San Diego. San Diego in November is infinitely nicer than Albuquerque in November, as my Albuquerque friends' pictures show. And one of the girls in front of me let me share her blanket. So I had some company. The movie itself was incredible. It was also really dark. I knew it was going to be dark, but somehow I underestimated how dark it really was. There were parts (Bathilda Bagshot, anyone?) where I found myself genuinely scared. And I've read that part a million times! It was well-made, though, and I had a really great time, though I really missed my friends back home at times. The number one thing I found myself thinking as I left the theater, though, was "WHY IS JULY SO FAR AWAY?"

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Why Thanksgiving is the Best Holiday EVER.


















Everyone who knows me knows that my all-time favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I love this holiday for many reasons.

1. THE FOOD. Seriously, though. The Thanksgiving meal is one of my favorite meals ever. I love turkey, mashed potatoes, STUFFING, cranberry sauce... All of it is just so good! Once Halloween rolls around, I just start tasting turkey like crazy.

2. No pressure. I love Christmas (it's my second favorite holiday). But I really dislike all the pressure to buy gifts. I'm not opposed to gifts, necessarily. But I value quality time over gift giving in general, and I love just being with my loved ones. Gifts are slightly unnecessary, I feel like. So I love that on Thanksgiving, I can just hang with my family and enjoy myself without having to stress about gifts.

3. The Christmas season in general is my favorite time of the year. I love the music, the food, the parties, the decorations... And I love that Thanksgiving starts the whole thing off! So on Thanksgiving night, I'm always a little bummed that my favorite holiday is over. But then I remember that the Christmas season has just begun!

4. I love the whole feel of Thanksgiving. I love that we get a day off to just relax, eat delicious food, and enjoy our loved ones' company. I love that for one day we don't have to worry about anything but giving thanks for what we have. I love that we can relax and be content and forget about the hectic pace of our lives for just one day. And I love how "non-commercial" Thanksgiving is. It's a simple, beautiful holiday.

5. Psalm 100:4-5, Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What's in a Name?

I've been wanting to change the title of this blog for a while. It's kind of late to do that, I know, but hey, better late than never, right? I've been thinking and thinking for a long time about what I wanted to change it to. Nothing really clicked until I remembered my favorite verse: Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." I love this verse for so many reasons, but I think the main reason would be the first sentence-that God really does make everything beautiful in His own time. The more I thought about it, the more I liked how it sounded. Bada bing, bada boom, I have a new title! Just needed to give you all a heads up on the changes going on around here, haha.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Called

"Vocation: It comes from the Latin vocare, to call, and means the work a person is called to by God. There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of Society, say, or the Superego, or Self-Interest. By and large a good rule for finding out is this: The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world needs most to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you've presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing cigarette ads, the chances are that you've missed requirement (b). On the other hand, if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you have probably met requirement (b), but if most of your time you are bored and depressed by it, the chances are you have bypassed (a), but probably aren't helping your patients much either. Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." -Frederick Buechner

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Life To-Do List

Really, I'm just procrastinating on studying (shocking, I know). But I was thinking about things I want to do before I die. This turned out to be a slightly harder list to write out than I thought. But as I think of things I will do before I die, I will add to it.

1. Go to Africa. I cannot get Africa off my mind. Like everywhere I look is AFRICA. So, yes, before I go anywhere else in this world, I need to go to Africa.
2. Be at a Presidential Inauguration. I BEGGED my Dad to go see Obama get sworn in (forget the guy's politics for a second, you have to admit that it was history in the making). But it sadly just was not possible. But this will not stop me from attending an Inauguration. Hopefully the one I end up at will be just as historic, like the first Female or Hispanic President!


3. Go sky-diving. Bungee jumping is pretty much out, because I can just see how much that would hurt my back. Still, I will not miss the chance to hurl myself out of an airplane thousands of feet in the air for anything in the world.


4. Spend the night in Ryan Library. This is something my friend Julia and I have been wanting to do for a long time now. And we will before we graduate.


5. This one is hard to explain, but on certain holidays I want to be in the places they are most famous for being celebrated. For instance, I want to spend both Thanksgiving Day and New Years Eve in New York City. I also want to be in New Orleans for Mardi Gras (although I don't drink, but hey it's the experience that counts right?) I've already been to D.C. on the Fourth of July, so I can cross that one off my list, but there are still several other holidays to be celebrated.




6. Write a book. I don't know about what, or for whom, or when I would even have the time to sit down and write it. But before I die, I would like to be able to say that I wrote a full book, even if the only person who enjoyed it was my Mom.


7. Visit Israel/Jordan. After Africa, these two countries have my heart. I so badly want to walk around where our Lord walked. I want to get baptized in the Jordan river and see Petra and just experience that incredible region of the world.



8. Compete and finish a full triathlon. I will probably end up doing what my Mom did, and save this for after I have kids and want to get back into shape (which is impressive in and of itself). But as long as I do it sometime in my lifetime, I will be stoked. I'm pretty sure (as in 99.99999999999% sure) that the triathlon I end up competing in will NOT be the Iron Man, but hey one can dream right?


9. See U2 in concert with my Daddy. I love U2 because I was raised on them. My Dad loves U2 even more than I do, and I would love to see them in concert with him. Plus the song that I'm dancing to for my father-daughter dance at my wedding (getting a little ahead of myself, but hey, I'm a girl) is U2's "Sometime You Can't Make It On Your Own".

Here's the song I love so much by them. It's just one of many favorites, but it's beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuDqHtAR6L8


10. Write legitimate letters, and have a boxful of years of correspondence with someone. This is inspired by Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, a book the centers around the correspondence between Elisabeth and Jim Elliot, her husband, before they got married. It's easily one of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and I would love to have such tangible evidence of my love and life with someone.


11. Learn to cook. This is a very practical thing to want to learn to do, as I may someday have a husband who would like to eat more than just Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches (though I do make a mean PB&H, if I do say so myself). I'm not saying I want to become a world-renowned chef. But having a few standard dishes that I make very well would be a very handy skill to have. And the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach, right??


12. Meet John and Stasi Eldredge. These two are such a blessing to me. While I've only read three of John's books, one co-authored with Stasi, they all profoundly touched me. And I would love to make it up to Colorado and visit their ministry, Ransomed Heart Ministries.


13. Visit all 50 states. I've visited quite a few states, 23 to be exact, but there's still so much more to be experienced! I have yet to see Mount Rushmore, Hawaii, Boston, Disney World, Alaska and many other things in this beautiful country.


14. Spend at least one year in transit. Yet another thing my friend Julia was telling me about was this plane ticket that you can buy for like $2,000. And once you have it, you can just get on a plane and go as far as you want, wherever you want in one direction all over the world. This would be pretty much the coolest thing ever-to get on a plane with no money, and just go. We want to do this and experience just how much God truly loves us and provides for us, haha.


15. Buy a huge container of flowers, walk downtown and just hand them out to whoever walks by. Flowers are the way to my heart. And just looking at a flower makes my day that much better. I would love the chance to bless others in this way, and I can guarantee that I would meet some awesome people and come back with some crazy stories!


16. Sing in a legitimate karaoke contest. This sounds ridiculous, I know, but I'm one of the few, if only people I know who honestly thinks this sounds fun. I don't care if I win, I don't even care if I sound good. I just want to have fun and sing and laugh and make a crazy memory!


17. Hug a Koala Bear. I have a friend whose dad is Australian, and she said that Koalas are actually really mean. But I refuse to believe this, and every time I go to the zoo and see them I just want to hug them! Hopefully the ones at the zoo are nice, right?


18. Witness the Northern Lights firsthand. These have captivated me since I was a little girl. I've never really felt the need to go way up north, but I will totally make a trip just to experience these in person.


19. Learn to play the guitar. More and more, I'm feeling like I should know how to play the guitar. I took voice lessons for several years, and I'm fine with just singing out loud whenever wherever. But there's something much more effective about being accompanied by an instrument when you sing. And it's just a good instrument to know how to play.


20. Eat a food from every different nationality. I've experienced most of the Asian foods, a lot of the European foods, and some African foods. But there are so many different types to eat that I still haven't experienced yet! It doesn't even have to be full-course meal, but I want to say I've eaten some kind of food from each different nationality on this earth.


That's all I can think of right now, and I've procrastinated long enough. But as I think of things to add on, I will! And remember that while it's wonderful to dream, life is the most beautiful when it's experienced in the here and now.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

It's Times Like This That I LOVE My Major.


I just finished watching Inception for the second time. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOVIE. I just have to get this out now while the feeling is still fresh. There are very few movies that impact me so strongly, but this is definitely one of them. While I was watching it, I started thinking about what it was that affected me so strongly. Then I realized that I'm a Psychology major. The human mind, and all of its complexities is what I want to study for the rest of my life. And this movie is all about how incredibly built our minds truly are! WOW. The fact that someone could even sit down and write this whole story down and then make it into a movie is incredible enough. Then I started thinking about the One who created our minds in the first place! Oh, Lord! I'm sitting here just smiling away at the wonder of it all! If we, in our fallen imperfection, could imagine and create all of this, how much more can God imagine and create?? What a truly AWESOME God we serve! The verse that was brought to my mind is one that is repeated often. But it's repeated so often because of its simple truth. As you read this, meditate on the true and simple beauty of this:

"For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb. I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. HOW PRECIOUS TO ME ARE YOUR THOUGHTS, O GOD! HOW VAST IS THE SUM OF THEM! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You. (Psalm 139:13-18)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Why I Want To Be A Marriage Counselor


"You've heard that children care more that their parents love each other than that they love them and this is the reason why. It's the assurance that there is something grand and good going on that doesn't rest on your shoulders, something that doesn't even culminate in you, but rather invites you up into it." -John Eldredge.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Delivered!

I ran out of gas today on the 805. While we were waiting for our rescuers to come and save the day, I found this verse that I absolutely ADORE. I love it a.) because it reassured me that God truly is in control and that He will save us, no matter the situation, and b.) because it just so happened to be raining when all of this happened. This verse gave me shivers and made me laugh, so here you all go!

"Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." -Hosea 6:3.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"Don't You Just Love New York In The Fall?"


I'm off to New York City in less than 24 hours! I cannot begin to describe how incredibly excited I am to visit this amazing city. My friends can all probably tell you how much I've been talking about this trip. I've never been before (a fact that still amazes me, as we practically live in Washington D.C. which is not that far away at all.) I made a New York City playlist (don't judge) and have been watching You've Got Mail like there is no tomorrow. That movie makes me so excited to visit New York in the fall! One of my favorite movie sequences of all time is the opening sequence when they walk down the streets of New York within feet of each other, and the Cranberries sing one of my favorite songs of all time in the background, and the beauty of New York in the fall is fully appreciated in the leaves on the trees. I decided to share that scene here, because it makes me so happy! Enjoy, dear reader, and think of me walking the streets the streets of New York in the autumn.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Hope Project

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

-Lamentations 3:19-26.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Mr. Miller Took The Words Out Of My Mouth (Part 2)


"If I have a hope, it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means that you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

"You can call it God or a conscience, or you can dismiss it as that intuitive knowing we all have as human beings, as living storytellers; but there is a knowing I feel that guides me toward better stories, toward being a better character. I believe there is a writer outside ourselves, plotting a better story for us, interacting with us, even, and whispering a better story into our consciousness.

"Here's the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.

"It's true that while ambition creates fear, it also creates the story. But it's a good trade, because as soon as you point toward a horizon, life no longer feels meaningless. And suddenly there is risk in your story and a question about whether you'll make it. You have a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

"As I've said before, the main way we learn is not through movies or books, it's through each other. You become like the people you interact with. And if your people are living boring stories, you probably will too. We teach our children good or bad stories, what is worth living for and what is worth dying for, what is worth pursuing, and the dignity with which a character engages his own narrative.

"Writing a story isn't about making your peaceful fantasies come true. The whole point of the story is the character arc. You didn't think joy could change a person did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over. But it's conflict that changes a person.

"But in that place, I remembered about story, about how every conflict, no matter how hard, comes back to bless the protagonist if he will face his fate with courage. There is no conflict man can endure that will not produce a blessing. And I smiled. I'm not saying I was happy, but for some reason I smiled. It hurts now, but I'll love this memory, I thought to myself. I do.

"She said she had married a guy, and he was just a guy. He wasn't going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver. And because her husband believed she was just a girl, he was free to love her too. Neither needed the other to make everything okay. They were simply content to have good company through life's conflicts. I thought that was beautiful.

"It's interesting that in the Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes, the only practical advice given about living in a meaningful life is to find a job you like, enjoy your marriage, and obey God. It's as though God is saying, Write a good story, take somebody with you, and let me help."

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Labor Day 2010!


I will be spending this Labor Day weekend up north. So don't bother looking for me here. My heart's already up in San Francisco.


Monday, August 23, 2010

"Now What is History?"


"Now what is history? It is the centuries of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, with a view to overcoming death. That's why people discover mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, that's why they write symphonies. Now, you can't advance in this direction without a certain faith. You can't make such discoveries without spiritual equipment. And the basic elements of this equipment are in the Gospels. What are they? To begin with, love of one's neighbor, which is the supreme form of vital energy. Once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. And then the two basic ideals of modern man-without them he is unthinkable-the idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice."

-Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago.
"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life."

-Leo Tolstoy.

Take Two


New year, new start. At least that's what they all seem to say right? I'm not so sure about a fully new start, as there are some things from last year that just shouldn't change (read: friends). But I am excited to come back to school with a fully new perspective. I've come up with a list of things that I want to accomplish for myself this coming year. As follows,

1. Learn to articulate myself. I know, this was on my list of things to accomplish over my summer, but what can I say?? It's a hard goal to reach-at least for me. So I'm still working on it, but by next May, if all goes to plan, you can expect to see a most polished orator out of me.

2. Stop obsessing over my man-less state of being, and just let things happen. This isn't really a goal I'm worried about achieving; it's more about maintaining my current state of mind. God has a plan in all things, so I really am just shooting myself in the foot by obsessing over things that will just happen in their own good time. So I've given it all up to God, who has a much more capable hand than I do anyways. So, I'm determined to kick back, relax, and enjoy this life God has blessed me with, and not worry and fret that I don't have a special someone to share it with... yet.

3. Read more books. I should clarify this statement a bit more, as anyone who knows me well would just say that I read plenty of books as is. What I mean is, I'm going to stop re-reading the same books over and over again. I re-read books like crazy, and while that is wonderful, and I discover new things every time I re-read these old friends of mine, I've begun to feel like I really should expand my horizons-bookwise. This does not mean that I'm just going to read any old book though. I am going to make a list of books that I will read this coming year. On it so far are Into the Wild (which I'm currently reading), The Road, This Side of Paradise, Pride and Prejudice, Death with Interruptions, Doctor Zhivago and many more. I am making an exception to re-read Harry Potter in November in celebration of the Seventh movie's release, though. Hey, a girl deserves a break right?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Alchemist
















"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.

"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love... the love that speaks the Language of the World.

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

"The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of his wisdom.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.

"It's not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it's not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. When I first reached through to it, I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see that it was like other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."

-Paulo Coelho

Monday, July 26, 2010

God's little gift!

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a Jeep. Ask my parents, and they will tell you that as a child, my dream car was a hot pink Jeep Sahara. My dad quickly shot that dream down, by telling me in no uncertain terms that there was no way I would ever drive an open-air Jeep while I was living in his house. This did not kill my dream to drive a Jeep, though. Instead, I began to develop an obsession with Jeep Cherokees. I don't know what it is, but I have always loved these cars! Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you that given the choice between a Porsche and a Jeep Cherokee, I would definitely choose the Jeep. As I started work this summer, I worked with the goal of earning a car. I wanted so badly to buy myself a Jeep, but I just didn't know if I would have the funds (I only had about $3,500 tops to work with). But God provided, and I just bought my very first car-and yes it is a '98 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. I can't even begin to explain how excited, and grateful, I am! God, you are SO good!





Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella


I just got back from the Rihanna/Kesha concert. Totally worth $10, not because it was amazing, but because I had so much fun. Yeah, the singing was terrible, and Kesha was high out of her mind. And yeah, Rihanna was really weird, and had terrible costumes, and bad songs (for the most part). But she closed the concert with the song "Umbrella". I forgot how much I love this song. Seriously. It's so cute! Every time I hear it, I smile. And I hadn't heard it in such a long time. So hearing it tonight as her closing song totally made the whole show worth it. So I'm sharing it here. Enjoy!




Monday, June 28, 2010

Captivating


"A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero.

"She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master's finishing touch.

"God desires that wherever and however you offer yourself to the Body of Christ, you'll have the protection of good men over you. Not to hold you back, but to set you free as a woman. Christ has made man his warrior, to offer his strength on behalf of Eve so that she might flourish."

Saturday, June 19, 2010

5 Things (Stolen from T-Rizzle)

5 Things I am Looking Forward To:
  • Heading back to school with Miss Jessica Lynne Smith.
  • FINALLY owning my own car, because I am so stinkin' sick of having to share with my sister.
  • Being able to sleep in (this happens once a week, and I treasure every Saturday).
  • Seeing all my college friends.
  • The Holidays. Yes, I know that I have a while to wait, but the Holidays are my favorite time of the year.
5 Things I did Yesterday:
  • WORKED.
  • Slept.
  • Drove around several middle schoolers (Fi-Fi and her friends).
  • Watched Toy Story 3.
  • Slept... Again.
5 Things I Wish I Could Do:
  • Relax and enjoy summer the way it's supposed to be enjoyed.
  • Sing like Lea Michelle (Rachel on Glee).
  • Get in a car and just drive wherever the day takes me.
  • Dance like Shakira (Tara, if you happen to read this, we WILL accomplish this before the summer is over).
  • Sleep more (I'm rapidly becoming way too obsessed with sleep, as I never can seem to get enough of it).
5 Places I'd Like to Visit:
  • Greece/Italy. I'm beyond jealous that Megan is in Greece as I write this.
  • Thailand.
  • Morocco.
  • Ireland.
  • Tahiti.
5 Songs I'm Currently Obsessed With:
  • Where Are You Going-Dave Matthews Band
  • Undo It-Carrie Underwood
  • Find Your Love-Drake
  • Half of My Heart-John Mayer
  • I'm In-Keith Urban

Monday, June 14, 2010

"For the first time, I had been struck by the excitement of the traveler who looks history in her subtle face."

-Elizabeth Kostova, The Historian

Saturday, June 12, 2010

life so far...

I haven't blogged in such a long time! This is less to do with laziness, and more to do with there not being that much to write about. Life has kind of flat lined out here in sunny New Mexico. That is one thing I'm absolutely LOVING right now-the heat. I absolutely love hot weather and sunshine. And the hotter, the better. So living in this upper-90 degree weather is absolutely glorious! Unfortunately, I'm not able to appreciate all of this wonderful weather, as I spend most of my days indoors. This is not fully by choice, as I now have a job! I'm working at a law firm, which may not sound terribly exciting, especially since all I'm doing is a lot of grunt work (filing, copying, typing...). But I'm learning a lot. And it really isn't that bad, as far as summer jobs go. I'm working for two reasons: 1. To fill time. Last summer, I did not have a job. Last summer, I also wanted to shoot myself by the middle of June, because I was so BORED. This summer, I determined to not live through that again. So I got myself a nice little 9-5 job. And I'm experiencing something I never thought I would. I never thought it was possible to be more tired during the summer than I was during the school year. A lot of this has to do with the fact that, even though, I have to be up and out the door by 8:30 (at the absolute latest) every morning, I'm still mentally in full-on summer mode. This means that I'm inclined to stay out late enjoying these wonderful summer nights with my wonderful friends. However, one week of that was enough to leave me completely exhausted. I've had to completely change my full sleep cycle. This leaves out late nights, which was hard at first. But I'm adjusting to my schedule. In fact, you might say that I've turned into an old woman. Sleep is my number one priority. It's getting a little out of hand. (I blame my friend Jordan's influence-she's a grumpy octogenarian trapped in an 18-year old's body). The second reason I'm working so hard is because I want a car. I have a car to drive here at home, but it's not mine. It's my parents' on loan. And while that was fine all through high school, I realized that I could not take that car with me to college. And since I wasn't allowed to have a car as a freshmen anyways, it was not that big of a deal this past year. But now that I'm fully allowed to have a car, I really, really want one. But the only way that was ever going to work out was if I worked and bought one myself. Which I'm honestly alright with. I see buying this car as my first foray into adult life. So I'm excited to work, save, and at the end of the summer, buy my very first car! Beyond my job, which is what consumes most of my time these days, there is not much to relate. I'm enjoying being home and seeing all my old, dear friends, while also completely missing the friends I've made back in San Diego. Summer is looking brighter and brighter, with the brightest part coming in August when I can pack my car (yay!) and head out to California-stopping in good old Phoenix, Arizona to pick the lovely Jessica Lynn Smith along the way, of course! I promise to be a more faithful blogger, as it's been over a month since I last wrote something... But to sum up summer so far, I would have to use the word "busy". I feel like a busy little bee. But that's alright with me. Between work, friends, family, and home, life is pretty good right now...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Goals for Summer 2010



1. Learn to do my hair. Not merely straighten it. Like be able to bust out a curling iron and walk away NOT looking like a mental patient.

2. Work on articulating myself. I feel like when expressing myself, I tend to say "You know what I mean?" more than I actually SAY what I mean.

3. Spend more time with the fam-bam. Seriously. My family is AWESOME. I need to learn to appreciate them more.
Aw, aren't we such a precious family? Yes, I thought so too.

4. Stop stressing about the future. This one is the most important-and also the most difficult to accomplish. I used to never stress. But this past semester has brought on a whole new level of worry to my life that was never there before. I drive myself absolutely CRAZY worrying about things that are not a big deal at all. I concoct absolutely ridiculous situations that have no possibility of occurring and obsess over them. I need to relax. It's summer, the weather is absolutely gorgeous, and I should have no cares in the world (besides finding a job). The future will take care of itself. I need to learn to live in the present. What happens will happen, and I have no power over it. So why worry? It's summer!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Changes

I'm feeling... weird. I still can barely process it that my freshman year of college is O-V-E-R. Every day I have to remind myself that I am now a big, bad sophomore (and I pronounce it soph-o-more in honor of good old Bowlesie). When I first landed back home in New Mexico, it was all I could do to keep from crying all over again. I missed everything about Lomaland that much. But as I've begun to settle in to life in the 505, summer is looking better and better. Sure, I won't have the beach right outside my door. But I have plenty of pool parties to look forward to! And stargazing in New Mexico beats stargazing pretty much anywhere else in the WORLD. Seriously, people. You can see for miles, and there's little to no light pollution to get in the way. Another crazy thing about this summer is watching my little sister graduate. I feel like it was only a week ago that I graduated, so watching her experience the exact same feelings of excitement, tension, and nervousness that I did is really crazy for me. Basically, I'm learning just how weird day-to-day life is. But I'm also learning to roll with it, and enjoy the ride. Because that's what life is ultimately about, right? I'm convinced that life doesn't get any better than it is in the summertime. So when I found myself dreading summer vacation this year, it really threw me for a loop. But now that I'm here and living in the moment, I'm really starting to enjoy myself. So cheers everyone! I hope you all have an awesome summer!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Cynthia Jean<->Claudia Jean


Soooo, Tori totally put this pic up on her blog... But the more I look at it, the more I feel like it totally explains my Mom and I. Seriously. The older I get, the more similar we become. This is not always a good thing. But I totally love my Mom. She's pretty much the best ever. And I feel bad that I wasn't there to celebrate one of her special days with her. So Mama, this is for you! I love you to pieces (even if I don't always act like it...) I would be nowhere without my Mom. And she knows it. So she totally deserves this recognition, even if I can be a little grudging about giving it sometimes, haha. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you, and will see you soon!

Trembling with Fear at the Thought of Fear and Trembling

Basically, I HATE PHILOSOPHY. Nothing against my professor, but it's such a STUPID subject. I leave every class feeling very frustrated and annoyed. So, when we were forced to read Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard, I was resigned to hate it. But a funny thing happened. I didn't hate it. Now, I didn't understand it, either. But there were definitely little snippets of immense wisdom to be found amongst all the mumbo-jumbo that fills most philosophical texts. And I really enjoyed these beautiful little phrases, so I'm sharing them here. Read and ponder.

"No one shall be forgotten who was great in this world; but everyone was great in his own way, and everyone in proportion to the greatness of what he loved. For he who loved himself became great in himself, and he who loved others became great through his devotion, but he who loved God became greater than all.

"But Abraham believed, and therefore he was young; for he who always hopes for the best becomes old, deceived by life, and he who is always prepared for the worst becomes old prematurely; but he who has faith, retains eternal youth."

Eden


On Friday, we saw Phil Wickham and Leeland in concert. It was pretty much AWESOME. There was one song that really stuck out to me, so I felt like sharing it. Enjoy!