Thursday, February 23, 2012

He Knows Me

To be quite honest, I may or may not have just had a minor breakdown just now. I'm about to finish up my junior year of college, and this entire semester has basically consisted of the Lord taking all my plans and throwing them out the door. Actually, I don't know how accurate that description is. It's been more of Him giving me the strength to acknowledge what I actually want to do with my life... And if I'm honest, it's not what I was planning to do up until now. It's not necessarily that I'm throwing out my plans just yet. I'm just gaining the strength to acknowledge that God might have something different for me. I'm opening myself up to follow wherever He leads me. I came by this peace first by completely breaking down and crying on the floor of my room and asking Him over and over again what the heck He was doing. He led me first to Psalm 27:8-14, "When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, 'Your face, Lord, I will seek.' Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen Your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!'" He also led me to Psalm 28:7, "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will greatly praise Him." Then, because God is just that good, a friend of mine posted this amazing song on my Facebook wall (God works in mysterious ways?) and through it, the Lord gave me so much peace that He does know me and love me and want my best (why, I don't know and will never fully grasp). Really, all I can say now is the Lord is the Lord and all I can do is trust in Him. My life is being re-written right now, and I'm just waiting on the Lord.