"Now What is History?"

"Now what is history? It is the centuries of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, with a view to overcoming death. That's why people discover mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, that's why they write symphonies. Now, you can't advance in this direction without a certain faith. You can't make such discoveries without spiritual equipment. And the basic elements of this equipment are in the Gospels. What are they? To begin with, love of one's neighbor, which is the supreme form of vital energy. Once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. And then the two basic ideals of modern man-without them he is unthinkable-the idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice."

-Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago.

"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life."

-Leo Tolstoy.

Take Two

New year, new start. At least that's what they all seem to say right? I'm not so sure about a fully new start, as there are some things from last year that just shouldn't change (read: friends). But I am excited to come back to school with a fully new perspective. I've come up with a list of things that I want to accomplish for myself this coming year. As follows,

1. Learn to articulate myself. I know, this was on my list of things to accomplish over my summer, but what can I say?? It's a hard goal to reach-at least for me. So I'm still working on it, but by next May, if all goes to plan, you can expect to see a most polished orator out of me.

2. Stop obsessing over my man-less state of being, and just let things happen. This isn't really a goal I'm worried about achieving; it's more about maintaining my current state of mind. God has a plan in all things, so I really am just shooting myself in the foot by obsessing over things that will just happen in their own good time. So I've given it all up to God, who has a much more capable hand than I do anyways. So, I'm determined to kick back, relax, and enjoy this life God has blessed me with, and not worry and fret that I don't have a special someone to share it with... yet.

3. Read more books. I should clarify this statement a bit more, as anyone who knows me well would just say that I read plenty of books as is. What I mean is, I'm going to stop re-reading the same books over and over again. I re-read books like crazy, and while that is wonderful, and I discover new things every time I re-read these old friends of mine, I've begun to feel like I really should expand my horizons-bookwise. This does not mean that I'm just going to read any old book though. I am going to make a list of books that I will read this coming year. On it so far are Into the Wild (which I'm currently reading), The Road, This Side of Paradise, Pride and Prejudice, Death with Interruptions, Doctor Zhivago and many more. I am making an exception to re-read Harry Potter in November in celebration of the Seventh movie's release, though. Hey, a girl deserves a break right?

The Alchemist

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.

"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love... the love that speaks the Language of the World.

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

"The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of his wisdom.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.

"It's not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it's not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. When I first reached through to it, I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see that it was like other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."

-Paulo Coelho