His Love Is Sweeter Than Honey...

So I'm sorry for not writing on this blog over the summer. My words were invested in another blog that can be read here if you so desire: http://newzealand.adventures.org. The reason I blogged there and not here is because I was in New Zealand for the summer on a mission trip. Oh, what a summer it was. I left this past semester aching inside. It had been a messy semester and though Jesus had promised that He would redeem it, I was having trouble finding Him as I looked back over the past few months. All I could see was mounds of boy issues, friend drama, and dreams that I had held dear being taken out of my hands. I was left with literally nothing. If my life were a movie, this would be the time that I pack my bags and leave for a whirlwind adventure, and for once, art imitated life. The door had opened for me to spend two months doing ministry in New Zealand (a country I had always dreamed of visiting), and I ran through it! And the Lord met me there and began the healing process. He began to take me through some of the wounds I had been walking with and showed me where He had been all along (right by my side, protecting me. I am so blind when I want to be!) He picked me up and put me in a beautiful community of believers. No, the people I spent two months with were not perfect. There were tensions and hurts and things that needed to be worked out even in New Zealand. But I got to fully experience what the Lord has always desired the Church to look like. I was in daily community with older, more experienced believers who I came to regard as my spiritual parents, peers my own age who I worked alongside with and encouraged and rejoiced with, and children who blessed my heart more than I could ever fully express. The Lord began to show me some of His dreams, and things that are on His heart for this earth. And above all else, for the first time in my entire life, I found myself in a place where all I needed or asked for was Jesus' love. His love was the only thing that could heal my aching wounds, still my racing heart, and comfort my unspoken fears. I'm now back in the United States and that constant hunger for Jesus' love has only grown stronger. This summer was priceless, and I will forever thank Jesus for taking me on such a beautiful journey. As I've been back, one song has been stuck in my head and it's a song I've been singing to Jesus over and over again. I'd heard it before many times, but after this summer, the lyrics have come alive for me. I'm including it here at the bottom. His love is sweeter than honey. His love is stronger than death. His love lifts me of my burdens and teaches me to dance!

Learning To Dance In The Rain

Let this be known. I love the sunshine. Given the choice between a sunny day and a rainy day, I will ALWAYS choose the sunny day. For the longest time, rainy days put me in a bad mood. I wanted to run around in the sunshine, wearing a sundress and no shoes. I hated being wet, and having to wear a coat and rushing from place to place to get out of the rain. Slowly, the Lord has been changing my attitude towards rainy weather. He always lets me know that He is moving and working through rain. It's His promise that He has heard and is acting. Rain is restorative and healing and washes away all the dirt and dust that tends to accumulate. It's been a process and I still love bright sunny days, but I've slowly begun to enjoy rain. This is important because I'm spending the summer in New Zealand. It's in the southern hemisphere, so it will be in the middle of winter and raining all the time. I've been bracing myself for awhile now about spending a summer in cold, rainy weather. Jesus seems to be helping me along with preparing for this weather because I've been back in DC for almost two weeks now and it's been raining a LOT. I went out to walk my dog this afternoon and got soaked in a sudden torrential downpour. I was really tempted to run right back home and stay safe and dry, but I ended up walking around listening to this song called "Let It Rain" by Jesus Culture. What a healing experience! I was soaked through, but it was worth it! I got to run around and splash and let His love just wash over me! The Lord really does work through rain and I can't wait to spend a summer soaking it up!

THE Best Birthday Ever!

This birthday was literally the best birthday I've ever had! First off, I love surprises, so any kind of surprise just makes me ridiculously happy. On Wednesday night (my birthday was on Thursday), I went out and grabbed some burritos with two friends, because, really, is there any better way to begin a birthday?? Little did I know that a bunch of my friends were all in cahoots to come surprise me! Halfway through my burrito, they all burst into the restaurant singing Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs! They had all made this amazingly awesome video of moments they had enjoyed with me and things they appreciated about me. That was such a huge blessing. I'm not the biggest fan of gift-giving, because I like shopping for myself so I don't end up with a lot of pointless stuff. But I love gestures like this! Having friends sit down and make something like this that I can watch over and over again and knowing that they all dedicated a night to my birthday was a HUGE blessing. The next day was super laid back. I woke up and just spent the first half of my birthday journaling, opening gifts (got a camera, thank you Mom and Dad!), and getting ready (gots to look pretty on my birthday!). Then I babysat for the rest of the day. This might sound like a bit of a bummer, because who wants to work on their day? But I LOVE the kids I babysit and they were so excited to share in the fun with me so it really just added to my birthday. Then I went out to eat with a bunch of my friends and that was so fun! I got surprised again with a four-layer Funfetti cake (I'm OBSESSED with Funfetti). What was even better was that cake was one of three cakes I got for my birthday! I really am incredibly blessed by every one that God has placed in my life and I am so thankful that I got to celebrate my day of birth with so many blessed people! 

Surprise! 

 I got flowers and everything!

Shirley Temples... Oh yes.

What is fondly know as the "Claudia Pose". I did not come up with the name, only the pose.

One of the best surprises of the night: FUNFETTI!!

Two of the three Funfetti cakes I got!

"Little Girl, Arise"

This past Easter weekend was SO necessary. This past semester has been amazing and I've grown so much, but to be quite honest, by the time Easter break rolled around, I was exhausted. For the past two years, I've gone home with my best friend to her house in Oceanside and this year was no different. I spent most of the weekend sleeping, but my waking hours were also filled with rest and relaxation. I spent most of the weekend worshiping, baking, hot tubing, worshiping some more, spending time with blessed friends, and more worshiping. I have a lot to be thankful for and this break really allowed me to take some time and just be thankful. All weekend long, I was constantly brought back to the fact that we live only through Christ's resurrection power. This may seem like one of those "Duh!" things, but it was really powerful for me to realize that my life only comes from His death. Over and over, I kept hearing "Talitha Cumi" which is what Jesus spoke over the little girl He brought back to life. It literally means "Little girl, arise." This phrase has been echoing what's been going on in my life and several my friends' lives perfectly. I have been dying to myself in so many different ways and it's only been recently that I've begun to feel the Lord calling me to arise and live. I love that all of this occurred over Easter weekend-the weekend with which rising from the dead is best known for. This weekend was so life-giving, and I'm so thankful for the life Jesus has given me!

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

His Time Is Not My Time

So I know I talk about Ecclesiastes 3:11 a lot on this blog. This partly may be because its name is derived from that verse! And also because this verse is my life verse. I have found myself repeating it to myself so many times when I'm at the end of my rope, or can no longer see what God is doing in my life or where He's leading me (which, if I'm honest, is often. God is always a million steps ahead of me). This past semester I've found myself clinging to the promise He makes in this verse even more so, especially because I no longer have any idea where I'm going or what I'm doing with my life next. It took awhile for this to sink in, but I've finally realized that the Lord can make the promise that all things will be made beautiful in time because He is outside of our time! It was a total head-knowledge-becomes-heart-knowledge moment for me. God is outside of our time. And even more than that, He is not a linear God. I've noticed that our society attempts to define time in a linear sense. We believe that once a lesson is learned, a season is completed, a goal accomplished, it is finished. In actuality, God is a circular God. Just a glance around at His creation shows that. The seasons continue on and on. Plants die and come back to life only to die again. The sun and moon circle around the earth. In my own life, I've noticed that my walk with the Lord does not continue on in a straight line, but rather I go deeper and deeper in Him. I've found myself several times asking God why I'm being brought right back to certain lessons that I thought I had already learned. Over and over, I keep hearing "I am a circular God. My time is not your time, yet I make everything beautiful in its time." I'm being brought to a place where I get to lean on the Lord and claim His promises and know that they are made new every day. His time is not my time, and the more I look back over my life, the more I thank Him that He is in complete control and that He does indeed make everything beautiful in His time.

"It's Always Like Springtime With You"

Today is officially the first day of Spring! I love this season. I love the beauty of new life and all the possibilities that Spring brings. And I love how God always brings Spring after a long Winter season in my life. I'm beginning to enter a Spring season with Him and it's been a beautiful time of renewal and restoration. He's been making everything new in my life and I love that He's doing it at this time of the year. One song that's been speaking to me a lot is "This Is What You Do" by Bethel Music, so I'm including it here. The Lord is found in dying to myself and sacrificing my dreams for His. But He's also found in restoration and new life, and that's something I'm celebrating this Spring.

Why I Gave Up Makeup For Lent

I approached this current Lent season not entirely sure if I was called to give up anything. Usually I use Lent to kick whatever "addictions" I might be struggling with (in the past, I've given up soda and Facebook). But this year, I didn't really feel like I had anything that needed to be given up, until I had an in-depth conversation with several friends back in February. We were going around in a circle, affirming each other and calling out areas that we thought each other could improve in (I have THE best friends ever). One of my friends asked me if I had ever surrendered my beauty to the Lord. To be quite honest, I didn't even know what that meant! So I took some time with God alone and asked Him what it meant to surrender my beauty. I wanted a tangible way to do this, because it seemed like such a vague concept! The only thing that He brought to mind was giving up makeup for Lent. This was a really hard decision to make because my skin has not been the best recently, and choosing to not wear makeup in public felt incredibly vulnerable. But I've been so supported by all my friends and they've been so faithful in texting me verses of truth and encouragement and by always telling me how beautiful I look. Among the many verses that I've received are a few of my favorites: 1 Peter 3:3-4, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty fo a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God", Psalm 34:5, "They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed", Song of Songs 4:7, "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you", and Romans 8:6, "For to set your mind on the flesh is death, but to set your mind on the Spirit is life and peace". There have definitely been days where I've looked in the mirror and wanted nothing more than to just cover it all up with makeup. But every time that urge comes, I get to turn to the Lord and ask Him what He thinks about me... and He never disappoints me! He's covered my vulnerability so many times, I can't help but trust Him! So this Lent has definitely been the most vulnerable season yet, but I've been learning to trust God more and more and lean on His faithfulness in a new way.

Here I am in all my natural glory!

He Knows Me

To be quite honest, I may or may not have just had a minor breakdown just now. I'm about to finish up my junior year of college, and this entire semester has basically consisted of the Lord taking all my plans and throwing them out the door. Actually, I don't know how accurate that description is. It's been more of Him giving me the strength to acknowledge what I actually want to do with my life... And if I'm honest, it's not what I was planning to do up until now. It's not necessarily that I'm throwing out my plans just yet. I'm just gaining the strength to acknowledge that God might have something different for me. I'm opening myself up to follow wherever He leads me. I came by this peace first by completely breaking down and crying on the floor of my room and asking Him over and over again what the heck He was doing. He led me first to Psalm 27:8-14, "When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, 'Your face, Lord, I will seek.' Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen Your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!'" He also led me to Psalm 28:7, "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will greatly praise Him." Then, because God is just that good, a friend of mine posted this amazing song on my Facebook wall (God works in mysterious ways?) and through it, the Lord gave me so much peace that He does know me and love me and want my best (why, I don't know and will never fully grasp). Really, all I can say now is the Lord is the Lord and all I can do is trust in Him. My life is being re-written right now, and I'm just waiting on the Lord.

"I Believe In Fairy Tales And Serendipitous Encounters"

I love this girl partly because she writes adorable music and I'm a sucker for adorable music. But I mainly love her because she's classically trained as an opera singer, and boy does it show! What a voice! I appreciate hearing an actual singer and she is one of the best out there currently. Enjoy!

A Display To Start The Year Off Right!

I know I've blogged about the Aurora Borealis many, many times, but every time I see something new on these amazing lights, I can't help myself! Some day I will experience this natural wonder. God is so beautiful, and He makes such beautiful things!

Beauty is Sacrifice

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn...

The Madness That Is My Life

I haven't blogged in over for a month, and I'm sorry. I blame technical difficulties (my computer decided to stop charging). So, with that being said, here's my life so far. I spent this Christmas back in New Mexico. This past winter break turned into the vacation I needed a vacation from. It was productive... and definitely not relaxing. I worked from 9 to 5 for 3 weeks. I really don't know how adults do it. We also packed up our house in New Mexico to get it ready to rent out. So between all of this and trying to spend time with my friends (several who had just gotten back from Europe), my life was CRAZINESS! I was actually excited to come back to school and relax, but unfortunately, this semester is going to be one of the crazier ones. I'm currently working two jobs and helping cover for a friend when she's unavailable to work hers, trying to raise enough money to make it down to New Zealand this summer, and trying to balance several tough classes. My main goal this semester is to embrace each moment (as cheesy as it sounds), and not wish this semester away. My main motivation is that next semester is my last first semester of college (seriously, WHERE DOES THE TIME GO!?) and I don't want to look back on a single moment of college and regret not fully living in the present. God is still God, He is still good, and He is still looking after me. For the present, that's all I need to know. The rest will work itself out.